Gia

this is called Confessions of a Slut . . . not autobiographical

All I want, for once, is for somebody to make love to me.
I am tired of fucking, having sex, and hooking up.
For once, I believe I deserve to be made love to, just once.
I can no longer find that minute of bliss, of happiness, of togetherness I used to find after sex.
I am looking for that one person to love me, just me.
Stop loving my looks, my breasts, my ass and my cunt.
I deserve someone to love me entirely, even love my faults and annoyances.
I can do the same for you.
I know how to love, but I need some in return to continue.
I am all used up.
I used to be full of love, but you just kept taking and taking, a stomach never full.
Well I'm hungry.
I need you to nourish me.
I need you to feed me, make me whole again, free of charge.
Don't you at least owe yourself that much?
Don't you still owe me for the night?

Current Mood: working
Current Music: some weird french music

i wrote this little piece, i call it Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe is what I'll be
bunch of curls and fancy free
Dancing around for all to see
I'm not causing scandal, I'm just being me.

Current Mood: working

it's been a long long time, probably way too long . . . sorrie

i have started college, i am done with my first year and i survived.

this year has been kinda tough, want details? just ask . . . i'm not going to bore everyone with them here.

but not only am i surviving, i am thriving and learning new things by the minute.

Current Mood: complacent

sorrie i haven't written in here in a long time.

here is what's new

i'm in college
i have a boyfriend
i am happie

have a good day!

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: semisonic - secret smile

friday was definitely senior day. senior picnic during the day, which only means you don't have to go to school and you can show up in saratoga state park and pretend to like the rest of your classmates.

prom was also friday night. i got my hair done for the first time, and i loved it. it looked like a spiraled fan ... you would have to see it to know what i was talking about ... it was not that traditional curls and shit ... it was spiky. my nails matched my dress perfectly, and all my jewelry was great. i went and picked up killian, he is just so adorable, i can't stand it!!!

prom was a lot of fun, i had an excellent time ... killian is a good dancer! and ... the weirdest part is that i was on the prom court. it's kinda weird, i don't know why those people would vote for me when i don't even like them ... jk jk jk ... well not really but you know what i mean. so i had to stand up on stage and dance with my male counterpart, john forner. good times.

after prom was ok.... erich lenning's house. i feel sorrie for that kid, his house is destroyed. driving up there wasn't too bad, except i had like 20 cars following me because they didn't know how to get there... oh well i'm a good kid.

the best was waking up today and seeing that there was about a foot of snow on the ground and driving home in the snow. that is what i called fucked up!

Current Mood: good
Current Music: unchained melody! awww

i did get a new prom date. he's not a fucking prick, he's adorable.

his name is killian. see, i told you he was adorable. he's a junior at my school, and he's very tall. i think i scare him, cause i didn't even know him and my friend introduced us but everything is good now.

we went out to breakfast. he's adorable!!! he opened the door for me, grabbed the check quick when it came. and he even complimented me on my sense of style! aww!!!!

we will have a good time at prom!

Current Mood: flirty
Current Music: trust foundation - old man maple

well, high school isn't officially over, but i am all done with my ap's. i have finished them all, and i will be out on june 13th! yay! and graduated on june 29th! double yay!

i took ap calc ab, ap art history, ap french, and ap pig. and if i get a 3 on any of them it will be a miracle ... we will see in july.

i don't know if anyone of you remember, but i was suppose to go to west point a while ago because that is where i got accepted. except they decided to waitlist me in march ... and then reject me last week. so i am now going to american university in washington dc. that's ok, i really liked beating the shit out of myself since august to get in shape for west point and not eating for a week to lose weight because i was over their requirements. and i especially like being told i was fully qualified and then being rejected for no good reason. fuck you army! it's not my fault i don't have any political connections or military connections ... and i shouldn't have to to just get into college!

but that's ok, no hard feelings. i am going to american and i will be a good student and have a good time.

oh, and on friday i have my senior picnic and my senior prom. i am excited!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: moby - porcelain

See, i'm not what everyone says i am! ha ha, i'm just joking. i'm an angel! seriously

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: dashboard confessionals - screaming infidelities

i think this could be a song ... if i knew how to write music.

this is called Bastards.

::hope i never see you again
wish i never answered your call
should have locked the door when you came over
i should have never said hello
hope i never see you again.

you told me that i was beautiful
you told me that you needed me most
that i was the one who could fill the void,
tha ti was the one you were looking for.
you simply filled my heart with lies.

i hope i never see you again
hope my ears never hear your voice
hope my eyes never see your eyes, your hair, your soul.
hope to never feel your touch.

well i guess this is goodbye.::


it's very therapeutic. cheap therapy.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: everclear - sunflowers

it was so nice that the "fucking prick" decided to address me and my friends in my journal.

well for everyone's knowledge the "fucking prick" is tom pfeiffer. and this song is for tom pfeiffer.

hope by bigwig

i wrote you a letter saying that i'm never coming back. now i can be here by myself without you and no one else. you're such a waste of time but i'll be just fine. i saw a picture of you today. i can't believe how much you've changed. so much time too soon too quick. another reason for me to drink. i'm buried in my shirt what i can't see won't hurt. i hope i never see you again. not after what you did and what you said. i bet you thought this sotry had a happy ending. i hope i never see you again.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: bigwig - hope

well at least now i have a date.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: bigwig - sore loser

let me just say that i fucking hate high school.

a lot.

my original prom date decided to be a total guy about everything ... so we are no longer going together.

so it's a month away and i'm gonna scramble like hell for a date. sounds like fun.

fucking prick.

at least my dress is gorgeous with perfectly matching shoes.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: so pathetic - local h

i need a cigarette

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: who we be - dmx

i wrote a poem a week ago.

just in case you wondered, i don't have self-confidence.

so here is the poem ... it's me being dumb. ok:

just to feel needed again,
that's all i'm asking for.
just to be wanted again,
to be someone's one and only,
to cause butterflies and shaky knees,
to provoke longing feelings of lust, love, and hope.
a lust for my body, a love for my soul, and a hope for our future.



i'm pathetic i know ... you don't have to tell me.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: closing time - semisonic

today i am 18! yay for birthdays!

it's kinda scary though, cause now people are going to expect me to be responsible and more adult like ...

fuck that shit!

ha ha i'm 18!

wish me happy birthday!

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: custom - hey mister (it really makes me laugh!)

i really don't want to do my homework tonight, but i promise this will be the last entry for the night.

i really like the song hero by enrique ... i know i'm a dork, but i really like the song. and i have decided that if a boy sings me that song, hero, no matter who he is or what he looks like or anything, we have to get married on the spot. no, i'm joking about getting married on the spot, but we will definitely have to start dating ... it's my rule.

so i'm at ski club skiing with my boys, and we're all on the chairlift. and the boys start singing songs, and what song do you think they sing? you guessed it, hero. you think it's possible for there to be 5 boys out there for me, and all on the same chairlift? it just made me laugh, it was amusing.

"i can be your hero"

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: enrique iglesias - hero

hey! i almost forgot! i'll be 18 in 13 days! yay 18!

i'm pretty excited... i don't even have big plans, i just want to be 18. and when i do turn 18, just to make sure i am 18, i am going to buy a pack of cigarettes, buy a lotto ticket, and go to a club with my real id ... just to make sure.

yay almost legal!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: eve 6 - here's to the night

hi kids! i know it has been a while since i have updated this ... so i'll try to do my best and keep it up to date ... some things i'll discuss others i won't.

here is a list of what you will be looking forward to reading:

~why all girls schools suck
~the ongoing college saga
~a little about school, just a little
~boys
~shopping

here is a list of what you will not be reading in my journal:

~day-by-day list of what i do
~the ex chad
~what happens when i go out
~how i curl my hair
~"personal" relations!

yay! come back soon, i promise i'll update!

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: blur - boys and girls

I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!
I'M GOING TO WEST POINT!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: me running around my house screaming at the top of my lungs!